Stereotypes - HBBC[6]

Following an interesting debate on twitter on the correct definitions of “cliché” and “stereotypes”, it seems I wrote a very stereotypical clichéd post! So, welcome to the sixth HBBC’s post where the list of members can be found here. Please take the time to read them all seeing as I always take a stranger angle.  For those of you lacking in a sense of humour, I sincerely apologise.

Mozzies. You've gotta love them; some of the things they do in this country is so awkward it borders onto the funny. Here are some of the more common ones, and I kid you not, they happen!  

1. Shaking hands
 
So you've secured an interview at a top institution, can't believe your luck, everything is going to plan perfectly until you walk into the room and...omg is that a hand stretching outwards towards you?
 
*silence*
 
"Aaaaah asta3'furalllah I don't shake hands with women!"
 
I respect your decision to not mix freely, truly I do, but guys/girls when you're given a hand to shake by the opposite gender, please refrain from screaming in foreign jargon and explain calmly and politely instead of terrifying them by thinking you've indirectly threatened them.
 
2. Lower thy gaze
 
Mashallah we have some pretty practising brothers and sisters here. Our dear brothers are aware of the fitna that surrounds them day and night so have decided in order to combat that, operation "eyes on feet" must be employed...
 

 
...Where we end up with a sprawled brother on the ground. Mashallah.
 
Sisters on the other hand prefer to talk in a wholly different direction and turn their faces sideways when speaking. You can imagine the confusion that occurs when a person walks nearby.
 
3. First Look
 
Omg omg *squeal* Jacob’s taking his shirt off guys, remember, first look is halal, so be careful not to blink...
 
Trust me. The brothers do this too.
 
4. Killjoys
 
You have them in every society.

But really. Why are you even reading this? Go read some Qura'an brother.